FAIL!

today has just been one of those days, you know, those days when you wished you hadn't got up, just went back to sleep to your dreams and forget all about reality.

For some reason I've felt 'down' all day, i don't know why but i just feel numb. When i feel numb and down i tend to ask myself many rather philosophical questions like:

• why i am i here?
• What is the point of life?
• why do some people appear to have it all?
• Why did i have to get an eating disorder?
• Why can't i be normal, do normal things, eat normally?
• Why is my sister disabled?
• Why do i revise my socks off and still get a crap grade, i tried so so so so hard?
• when it will this all stop, when will you lead me go?
• why can i never do anything right?

I need something to smile about, something to life for. 

Why do i  feel this why when i have amazing family and friends?

i thought i'd try and take my mind off things by doing a quiz, try and cheer myself up.

Favourite ice cream flavour? I don’t eat ice cream anymore, it's a mixture of my eating disorder and the fact i'm lactose intolerant. But before all that when i ate what i like and had little treats now and then,my favourite ice flavour was mint-chocolate chip. 

Favourite dessert? before my eating disorder i use to be a real dessert person when every me went out to restaurant i'd always have dessert without fail. I've never had one favourite dessert i have a couple of top desserts instead.

Apple crumble, was a winter favourite.

Hot Belgium Waffle with toffee sauce and vanilla ice-cream

Hot sticky toffee pudding

Favourite meal? my relationship with food is now somewhat strained, i don't really eat because i want to or like the taste, i eat because i have to, my body needs fuel. But before my ED took hold my favourite meal was out of Spaghetti Bolognese or Macaroni Cheese. Basically anything with pasta or any thing that's Italian.

Spaghetti Bolognese or simply just spag bol.

Macaroni Cheese

What did you major in? I'm only 17 so i don't major in anything but i hope to go to university to study child nursing.

Who is your best friend? my twin sister Gemma, i love her with all my heart, i don't know what i'd do without her, she's always there even when i was ill and was a crap sister she was still there.

Do you have any siblings? a twin sister and younger sister.

Single or taken? Single.

Favourite TV shows? 

• Greys Anatomy 
• Who do you think you are?
• new girl
• Sherlock
• Ashes to ashes
• life on mars
• british bake off

Where have you travelled?  i use to go to the same place every year, Menorca, it's so beautiful. And i've been to Florida twice.

Do you work out? Nope.

Currently reading?  Ghost road by Pat Barker.

Pets? Yes one very cute, black toy poodle called Max, he's my baby, i love him.

Hobbies? Reading, knitting, card making, baking, blogging. Im pretty boring really.

Mac or PC? never had a mac to PC all the way!

Staples in your kitchen? peppers, udon noodles, tuna, chicken and couscous.