Tuesday, 25 September 2012

ED wins again

The day started so well, i woke at 6:30 and read a couple of chapter of The Kite Runner for English. I've read the book before, i would highly recommend it.
I went downstair to get breakfast which consisted of:
2weetabix biscuit and soya milk, an chopped apple and a slice of wholemeal toast with homemade strawberry jam.

Personally, i consider this a good ,big breakfast, in comparsion to the rest of my family.

Mum- 2slices of toast with butter and a cup of coffee
Younger Sister- 1 slice of toast and 2 chocolate waffles with a glass of milk
Twin sister- A large bowl of cereal with milk (she eats all the cereal and leaves the milk)
Dad- A bowl of crunchy nut with milk and a slice of thick wholemeal toast with butter.

Then at 10:30 i had Jordans crunchy bar.Both my mum and dad don't really snack, they may have a mint sweetie or a tomato but thats it.
Younger sister- She has juice, cereal bar and fruit or sweet/ crisps at the weekend
Twin sister: School days she has no snack but at the weekend she has chocolate bar or a biscuit

Lunch was at 12:30 i had a wholemeal pitta pocket with chicken and cucumber, a low fat strawberry yogurt and 2 ricecakes which i dipped in the yogurt, my mum thinks its weird but i think yogurt and rice cakes are a good combo.
Mum: 2 dairylea triangles and 4 crispbreads and packet of crisps
Dad: A cornbeef sandwich of thick bread with butter and a banana.
Younger sister: cheese spread sandwich, crisps, raisins, biscuit.
Twin sister: A packet of snack a jacks.

Now, i hate my people eat less than me and i know that i shouldnt but my ED tells me that am greedy and fat so the fact that my sister eats so little during the day is hard for me because my ED then tells me am weak as even my sister can eat less. I know that she comes home from school and has a banana and biscuit and then a normal dinner, but if i was too have a breakfast like hers and a lunch as small as her with no mid-morning snack i would get told off and most likely put back into hospital. Also, how she expects to function at school while eating so little is beyond me, no wonder she finds it hard to concentrate its because she hungry.

I know, i know, this is rich coming from me. Considering i use to eat a 1/2 an apple and 4 ricecakes a day but i was ill. It's the one thing i can't cope with my twin sister not eating- it annoys me anyone doesnt eat when i have to but when it's my twin sister i just breakdown. I've already had a little cry and i'm now dreading dinner as really dont want to eat. Especially because she went to the dentist today and is too scared to take her retainer out so is now not eating so if she can't take it out for dinner, it means she would have eaten just breakfast all day, which make my ED scream and shout and say things i dont even want to write. My ED thoughts with go throught the roof, my guilt will be huge and i'll probably have a little cry again, like I always do.




'Could eating like my skinny friends make me a SIZE 10?'

I'm sure many people have asked themselves that very question, i certainly did a few years ago and look where i ended up, Anorexic with two hospital admission under my belt!

'According to researchers at the University of Birmingham, we are subconsciously influenced by the eating habits of those around us'I am unsure whether i agree with this or not, I think we are differently influenced by those around us but i think are own personal taste are also very vital. Everyone in my family has something they don't like that everyone else does. For example: my Mum tomatoes yet My dad and sister love them, they have there own draw full of tomatoes in the freeze. While me and other sister like tomatoes but to the same level we do, which means are family (apart from me) end up having every pasta dish in a cheese sauce not a tomato one. However, i can't eat cheese sauce due to all the dairy so i have tomato instead.

'Until now, I’d assumed that the fact that all my close female friends are far more svelte than I am was a disadvantage. Now, I realised, they were an (as yet) untapped dietary resource. I decided to spend a day shadowing each one, finding out her secrets to staying slim and, with any luck, getting a few to rub off.

First on the list is my very oldest friend Amelia Newsom-Davis, 42, whom I first met at nursery in 1973.
It does, I admit, slightly irk me that although she is older than me (all right, only by a month) and has two children like I do, she has kept her size-10 figure, while mine veers between a 12 and a 14.

Her secret, it seems, is mostly down to portion control, a habit she was taught from childhood. ‘Our family always ate less than yours did,’ she tells me. ‘I remember being amazed by how much butter and jam you got on your bread — we were only allowed a thin scraping.’

On paper, her Parisian regime doesn’t sound at all restrictive: brioche and coffee for breakfast, stew, cheese and wine for supper; the only exercise she takes is walking her children to school. It’s only when I spend a day actually eating what she eats that you realise how dainty her portions actually are.

Our breakfast brioche is a single slice. Lunch is a chicken breast with a single spoonful of carrots and another spoonful of rice.
At tea-time, she has a low-fat hot chocolate from the office machine. Our stew supper is accompanied by one small glass of wine, and a single Ferrero Rocher — no naughty second helpings.
It’s all delicious but I force myself to eat and drink as slowly as I can to eke out our tiny meals. And afterwards I must admit I’m still hungry. 
Hunger will not be a problem if I emulate my neighbour Christiane Comins. She and I first met four years ago, touring a primary school. Christiane, 43, is a size 8, although her handbag is stuffed with biscuits, nuts and dried fruit, and she is always nibbling at something. Her secret is the incredibly healthy if restrictive diet she adopted after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 11 years ago.
In response to the diagnosis, she cut out sugar, wheat, red meat and most dairy from her diet and went organic. Not only did she lose two stone, but her mobility returned.
Understandably, she is evangelical about the benefits of her regime and is always trying to persuade me to abandon wheat and dairy, too. So far, I’ve resisted, fearing that soya milk and rice pasta will be unpalatable. But perhaps I am wrong?

Our day starts heartily: a slice of pineapple, a plate of porridge with honey and soya milk and several cups of coffee. I am pleasantly surprised by the soya milk — I almost can’t tell the difference — and so full that it’s difficult to find room even for the handful of vitamin supplements she urges on me.

An hour later, she is offering me a snack of dried fruit and nuts. ‘I have to keep my energy up,’ she explains, wolfing them down herself. Lunch is a huge plateful of steamed organic veg, served with cod and drizzled with olive oil and soy sauce. It looks beyond dreary, I think. But to my surprise, it is actually pretty tasty as well as filling. Barely minutes later, it seems, she is handing round flapjacks she has made herself with oats and organic honey.
After a brief interlude walking the dog, it’s back home for chicken rissoles, more steamed veg and brown rice — which turns out to be delicious — and several strengthening glasses of wine.

Afterwards, I can’t quite believe the amount of food I’ve consumed, but when I ask nutritionist Ian Marber, he estimates the calorie count at a modest 1,800. The real trouble with Christiane’s regime is not, as I had previously assumed, the taste. It’s all the effort involved, washing, chopping and steaming organic veg and making alternative healthy snacks. As a working mother, I simply don’t have the time.

My sister-in-law Rachel’s eating regime is, by contrast, designed to be as career-friendly as possible. She works long hours in a high-powered role for the NHS, and in order to be able to pick up her children from school, has opted not to take a lunch break at all. Rachel, 39, is an elfin size 6 blonde whose nickname is ‘Slim’. Food is not a priority for her, as it is for me. ‘I don’t really have time to think about it,’ she admits.

For her, food is fuel, so she has devised a routine that is easy, quick and healthy. Breakfast is cereal and a banana, lunch a tuna sandwich at her desk, dinner — which she eats at 5pm with her young children — usually a stir-fry, pasta or baked fish with vegetables.
‘We don’t have pudding, except maybe a probiotic yoghurt twice a week.’

One day spent eating like Rachel is no hardship. I am not hungry, as I am under Amelia’s regime. Nor does it require effort, as Christiane’s does. Having very little choice of meal – and a pre-prepared lunch — does, I discover, free up a lot of brain space.
Sitting at my desk in my turn, I am amazed by how much I get done in a day that doesn’t demand any faffing around in the kitchen. But it is a regime that is definitely short on treats. Probiotic yoghurt is not a pudding in my book.
‘And I don’t really drink either — I’d probably have two glasses of wine in a week,’ she admits.
Rachel does allow herself a single square (a single square!) of dark chocolate at around 10pm, but that is it. I make the elementary mistake of leaving the bar beside my desk and before I know it, I’ve nibbled off a whole row. Much as I would love to have Rachel’s slender frame, I suspect I don’t have the self-discipline to stick to her diet.
So what’s the secret of staying thin? My friends all have very different diets but what they have in common is  routine that fits in with their lifestyle. I just need to find my own. Watch this space . . .

These are diets of the women in this article:

Rachel Pendlebury
Breakfast: Two Weetabix, banana, cup of tea.
11am: Satsuma

Lunch: Two brown rolls with tuna, sweetcorn and mayonnaise.
4pm: Cup of tea.

Dinner: Pasta, pesto and vegetables.

10pm: Square of chocolate.

Estimated calories: 1,200.

Exercise: 20 minutes’ bike ride to and from work, five days a week.

NUTRITIONIST IAN MARBER’s VERDICT: This is the diet of a very busy woman who probably isn’t a great food lover. Because she works in a hospital, she doesn’t have access to high-quality food during the day. Overall, the diet is a bit dull.

Christiane Comins
Breakfast: Slice of pineapple. Porridge with honey and soya milk. Coffee with soya milk. Handful of vitamin supplements.

Snack: Dried fruit and nuts, five spelt biscuits.

Lunch: Steamed veg, steamed cod, boiled squash and sweet potato, olive oil and soy sauce. Juice.

Snack: Home-made flapjack.

Dinner: Chicken rissoles, steamed courgettes and broccoli, brown rice pasta, pesto sauce. Two glasses of white wine.

Estimated calories: 1,800.

Exercise: Occasional dog walks.

NUTRITIONIST’s verdict: This isn’t a bad diet at all. There’s lots of vegetables, but there isn’t enough protein — and too many snacks.

Amelia Newsom-Davis
Breakfast: Brioche, butter, apricot jam. Coffee, freshly-squeezed grapefruit juice.

Lunch: Braised chicken with mustard, rice, carrots.

Tea: Low-fat hot chocolate.

Dinner: Beef stew with vegetables, slice of bread, nectarine. Two slices low-fat Camembert. Glass white wine. One Ferrero Rocher.

Estimated calories: 1,300.

Exercise: 20 minutes’ brisk walk, five days a week.

NUTRITIONIST’s verdict: This is a typically French diet with good variety, and no fear of food or of eating the ‘wrong’ thing. It’s higher in protein than a typical British diet, which tends to be carb-heavy, and it ticks all the nutritional boxes.


Emmys: Hit or a miss?

It was the Emmy's and that means lots of celebrities in beautiful dresses!

And this year they didn't disappoint, there were so beatiful dresses, as well as some dresses that really should have stayed on the hanger ( thats my opinion of course, anyone has there own sense of style)

Here are some my favourite dresses from the night:
Jane Levy looked simply stunning. the dress is simply you may even say plain but it's very elegant. Along with the statement necklace with it's vintage look. The colour matched her complexion and red hair, making this a HIT!
Sarah Hyland, opted for this sliver dress, i love the detail at the top adds elegance. I also love her hair, loose curls is always a hit with me.
I love the show 2 broke girls. I also loved  Kat Dennings dress it was the colour that did it for me, the burnt orangy, red looks amazing against her skin and hair colour, matched with red lips and black nails was gold and black jewellery. She looked amazing!
Jessica Pare I love love love, this style of dress. And the black and white colour scheme really works. It also makes her red lips really stand out.

And some of the dresses that i werent to my taste ( i fully acknowledge that some people will really like this dresses:
I didnt like the shape, pattern or fabric of this dress. Plus you can see tan lines.
I love the colour as it goes beautifully with her pale skin and jet black hair. But the dress has no shape and looks like a sack. I'm also not a fan of the split to reveal the leg.
I really like Zooey Deschanel and i think the dress really suits her quirky personality but it's not my cup of tea too big and puff, if the dress had just continued to flow down it would have looked amazing.
This is why i dont like the split in the dress. As im sure Alexandra Breckenridge found out after flashing her knicker, not the most flattering out pictures.

tell me what you think, which dresses impressed you and which dresses made you look in horror and think "seriously these people have stylish and they let them wear that!"

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Go to Keeping healthy getting stylish for a giveaway!

This week Laura from keeping healthy getting stylish has an amazing giveaway, so i urge you to check out her blog right now and sign up to the not only the giveaway but the blog too.

Check it out now!
 Keeping healthy getting stylish



I have had a little make-over, hope you like.

I'm off to watch some Mcdreamy, then have a lunch.

died and gone to heaven!


Thursday, 20 September 2012

School, disney, tots tv, biology and reads!

I started my morning with a little tidy up, i must admit i think my bedroom is rather tidy, although my mum would beg to differ. I'm such a child with my sleeping beauty poster and my tilly and tiny dolls from tots Tv, i don't know if any one would remember them.

After, my tidy up session, breakfast and lunch making i finally got dressed and made my way to school.
On Sunday i had a little online shopping spree, i ordered Disney's:
  • Peter Pan
  • Sleeping beauty
  • The Little Mermaid
  • 101 Dalmatians

    My mum is on a mission to get rid of all my Disney video's and replace then the DVD versions. My only problem with her plan is that those video's were my childhood they still have the teeth marks from were me and sister chewed the corners. I dread to think how many times I've watched some of these films which is why i keep the cover from inside the video, as a little memory, keepsake plus i love the illustrations.
a few of my Disney video covers, the rest are in a big folder, it's offical i am the saddest person in the world!

My day has also consisted of school i spend most of my frees and after-school reading though and doing the activities in my biology A-2 level text book.

Everyone loves synapes!
My next set of reads, Pat Barkers triology consisting of;
  1. Regeneration
  2. The eye in the door
  3. The ghost
I am most looking forwards to exploring the character of Prior and learning more about his experience and the other patients experiences at Craiglockhart hospital- which for those who don't know was a miltary army hospital in WW1 used for the treatment of shell-shocked officer. I find WW1 so interesting and in the good old days when i had time to watch hours of tv would happily sit for hours watching programmes on the history channel.

breakfast: weetabix, soya milk, wholemeal toast and jam and a lovely juicy red apple. I have been loving the apples this week nice sweet and crisp just how i love them.
Do you prefer red or green apples?Snack- jordans crunchy bar.
Lunch-Chicken pitta, cherry yogurt and a snack pack of raisins.
Snack- a bowl of dry cookie crisp cereal
Dinner- Chicken, salad and coucous
Supper- a bowl of mixture cereal (rice krispies, cheerios and bran flakes) with milk.

Do you try any cereal combinations?
Do you have any weird food combinations?
Like jam and yorkshire puds, tomato sauce sandwichs. cereal and orange juice instead of milk etc..


Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Quiz time!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30am, it was so dark and cold by bed was so warm i wanted to stay there for ever!

2.How do you like you like your steak? i don't eat red meat but if i did it would be well done or to many burnt to a crisp!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Disney Pixars Brave.

4. What is your favorite TV show? thats a hard one, atm i'm loving; who do you think you are?, New girl, The great british bake off, greys anatomy.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? America and live the American dream ;)

6. What did you have for breakfast? i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day, today i had weetabix with soya milk, wholemeal toast with strawberry jam (homemade by my little sis) and an red apple.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Japanese or italian.

8. What foods do you dislike? red cabbage especially when it's raw!

9. Favorite place to eat? i don't know actually, i dont go out for dinner often.

10. Favorite dressing? i dont have one :s

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? I don't drive.

12. What are your favourite clothes? my pjs.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Rome.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? that depends entirely on the day but today it's 1/2 full :D

15. Where would you want to retire? I'd go up to Yorkshire and live in a little cottage.

16. Favorite time of day? i don't know it depends what month it is.

17. Where were you born? Kettering

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Gymnastics and swimming

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? n/a

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? probably no one.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Everyones, I'm nosy.

22. Bird watcher? nope

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? morning.

24. Do you have any pets? A toy poodle called Max

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? me and my sister are going Disneyland Paris!!!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A vet or archeologist

27. What is your best childhood memory? i have too many.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? dogs.

29. Are you married? No.

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes!

31. Been in a car accident? no, touch wood i never will

32 Any pet peeves? So many...please don't get me started.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? dont eat pizza .

34. Favorite Flower? poppy

35. Favorite ice cream? in the good old days when i could have ice-cream it was mint-choco chip.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? None

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? i havent done one yet soon though

38. From whom did you get your last email? My english teacher.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? none.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? no cos im boring

41. Like your job? its okay.

42. Broccoli? yes, i love it!

43. What was your favorite vacation? Florida.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? my family.

45. What are you listening to right now? sister moaning about her day

46. What is your favorite color? Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have? none

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Everyone.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 17:12.

50. Coffee drinker? no!

Saturday, 15 September 2012

I'm so excited!

....my wonderful, kind, generous, loving parents have very kindly offered to pay for me and my sister to go to Disneyland Paris for 4nights and 5days to......


I could actually scream, i haven't stopped smiling all day. I love anything Disney, i know it seems a little childish seems this is my 18th birthday present but i don't care, your never too old Disney right?

I've been to Disneyworld in Florida but i've never been to Paris :)

I'm going to work really really hard at school as we're planning to go in February so i will must likely have school work for that February holidays.

And save up so money for spending money, as even just looking through pictures on the internet makes me want to buy the whole shop!

Plus, i will really try to increase my weight so i am fit and healthy to walk around theme parks all day, this trip will be a real motivator and will hopefully help me when i feel low and down during that hard and stress time they call recovery.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Ohh i do like to beside the seaside.......

Last weekend here in England was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!
Sadly, it was gone by Monday and was back it's cold, miserable self.

Anyway, me, my mum, my sister and my granny went to Skegness, with a group that does trips, disco's and other events for the young disabled people in Corby.I must say it was truly hearting wrenching to see the smiles on their faces, they looked so happy which makes me even more grateful for that last weekend of true summer weather :)

 For those who don't know Skegness is a seaside time in England. I use to go at least once every year when I was kid but havent been for years and years (me and my mum worked out that it have been about 4years!)

My day started at around 6:30 which is just like a school day for me so it wasnt so bad. I had my usually breakfast of weetabix, soya milk, toast with jam and an apple, i know i'm boring by i really do enjoy my weetabix and considering their is a limited range of foods i can honestly say that i do enjoy, i will continue to have it everyday, until that changes.

We left the house at 8:00 and went to pick up my granny who lives just 5minutes away and then we the 4 of us made are way to the pick up point. The coach was already there so we made ourselves comfortable as we have a 2 hour journey ahead of us. I did come prepared however i remembered to charge my ipod and brought by biology text book on biodiversity, enzymes, food and health for a bit of light reading.

We arrived at around 11:30 so had a wonder around the beach front before heading for lunch at around 12:30 while my mum opted for scampi, peas and chips, my granny battered fish and chips and my sister sausage and chips, i decided to go for a the safe option of beans and a jacket potato with a salad on the side.

At around 3:30 will had a ice-cream break, my mum and granny had a strawberry whippy ice-cream, my sister 4 sugar doughnuts and being my usually ED self had a solero exotic.

The beach was jam packed and so was the fun fair but all in all it was very good time and one that i will fondly remember as ever since my ED i've been somewhat distance from my granny, i don't know it i blame her for my ED or not but i havent eaten or even had a drink infront of her for around 3year so sunday was a real milestone

Now for my eats:
Breakfast: Weetabix, soya milk, toast with jam and an apple
Snack- jordans crunchy bar
Lunch- Bean, jacket potato and salad
Snack- solero exotic
Dinner- Toasted tea cake
Supper- A bag of quavers.

Friday, 7 September 2012


today has just been one of those days, you know, those days when you wished you hadn't got up, just went back to sleep to your dreams and forget all about reality.

For some reason I've felt 'down' all day, i don't know why but i just feel numb. When i feel numb and down i tend to ask myself many rather philosophical questions like:
  • why i am i here?
  • What is the point of life?
  • why do some people appear to have it all?
  • Why did i have to get an eating disorder?
  • Why can't i be normal, do normal things, eat normally?
  • Why is my sister disabled?
  • Why do i revise my socks off and still get a crap grade, i tried so so so so hard?
  • when it will this all stop, when will you lead me go?
  • why can i never do anything right?
I need something to smile about, something to life for. 
Why do i  feel this why when i have amazing family and friends?

i thought i'd try and take my mind off things by doing a quiz, try and cheer myself up.

Favourite ice cream flavour? I don’t eat ice cream anymore, it's a mixture of my eating disorder and the fact i'm lactose intolerant. But before all that when i ate what i like and had little treats now and then,my favourite ice flavour was mint-chocolate chip. 

Favourite dessert? before my eating disorder i use to be a real dessert person when every me went out to restaurant i'd always have dessert without fail. I've never had one favourite dessert i have a couple of top desserts instead.

Apple crumble, was a winter favourite.
Hot Belgium Waffle with toffee sauce and vanilla ice-cream
Hot sticky toffee pudding

Favourite meal? my relationship with food is now somewhat strained, i don't really eat because i want to or like the taste, i eat because i have to, my body needs fuel. But before my ED took hold my favourite meal was out of Spaghetti Bolognese or Macaroni Cheese. Basically anything with pasta or any thing that's Italian.
Spaghetti Bolognese or simply just spag bol.
Macaroni Cheese

What did you major in? I'm only 17 so i don't major in anything but i hope to go to university to study child nursing.

Who is your best friend? my twin sister Gemma, i love her with all my heart, i don't know what i'd do without her, she's always there even when i was ill and was a crap sister she was still there.

Do you have any siblings? a twin sister and younger sister.

Single or taken? Single.

Favourite TV shows? 
  • Greys Anatomy 
  • Who do you think you are?
  • new girl
  • Sherlock
  • Ashes to ashes
  • life on mars
  • british bake off

Where have you travelled?  i use to go to the same place every year, Menorca, it's so beautiful. And i've been to Florida twice.

Do you work out? Nope.

Currently reading?  Ghost road by Pat Barker.

Pets? Yes one very cute, black toy poodle called Max, he's my baby, i love him.

Hobbies? Reading, knitting, card making, baking, blogging. Im pretty boring really.

Mac or PC? never had a mac to PC all the way!

Staples in your kitchen? peppers, udon noodles, tuna, chicken and couscous.

The things i do when i have time on my hands.....

A is for any animals: i have a toy poodle called Max

B is for Breakfast: Weetabix, soya milk, wholetoast with jam and a bowl of grapes

C is for currently craving: udon noodles!

D is for dinner tonight: the rest of the family are having a chinese takeaway so i'm making my own  chicken stir fry with udon noodles, chicken, brought chow mein sauce with lots of chopped veggies.

E is for favourite type of exercise: i don't exercise anymore, as i got to obessed but it was running.

F is for irrational fear: A fear i snakes, even the word makes me shudder.
G is for gross food: olives and raw meat or fish!

H is for hometown: Corby

I is for something important: my a-levels

J is for favourite joke: nothing beats a good old knock, knock joke ;)

K is for kids: i'm 17, so i havent really thought about children but i dont really want any as i want to focus on my career (i want to be nurse and dont think i could be a good nurse and a good mum).
L is for current location: my bed.

M is for the way you most recently spent money: I don't! i save save save!

N is for something you currently need: I don't need anything i want but dont need.

O is for occupation: Student

P is for pet peeves: people who are late,!

Q is for a quote: pass

R is for random fact about you: i can roll my tongue 

S is for favourite snack: ice-gems ohh how unhealthy!

T is for favourite tea: don't drink hot drinks

U is for something that makes you unique: nothing

V is for favourite vegetable: brocolli
W is for todays wear: black trousers and top with a mustard cardi (i was at school)

X is for X rays youve had: just dental xrays.

Y is for yesterdays highlight: getting a present from my friend, who has been in turkey for the last month.

Z is for your time zone: GMT (i think thats british?)

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Recipes to make and eat in the future.....

Tuna with peppery tomatoes and potatoes
with crisp vegetables and rice
Chicken Soba Noodles
Lemon spaghetti with tuna and brocolli
Thai spiced turkey patties with noodle salad

First full day back at school, it's weird to think that this year will be my last at school (well hopefully if my a-level and university applications go well.)

Which reminds me i need to really start working on my personal statement, i have done my first draft but it still needs a little more attention before i give it to anyone to have a look at then, after that i will just keep on making more drafts and hopefully improving each time. I want my personal statement to be amazing but i also dont want to become unhealthly stressed over it either as i do still have my other school work to do to a high standard. Plus when i dont want to get too stressed as it wont help me get it down any quickier and it might effect my revision.

I've mentioned before that i was dissapointed with my biology grade for my Molecules, biodiversity and health exam in June, i got a D.
But the thing that is annoying me other than the crap grade is i dont know what i need to do improve, i revised alot, did lots of past papers, did spelling tests, memory tests.

I did so much and worked so hard, which is why i was so disappointed as i felt that all that work was for nothing. But i do want to resit the exam and just try my very hardest again to get as best i can, i really want to get a B but due to the fact i got a D i think a C is more realistic!